Wednesday, 11 August 2004

• Currently Playing Light in Guinevere's Garden By East West see related

  Ya know something weird is going on in my life right now and I really dont know how to explain it.

   On one end my faith in God has become ever stronger. Ya see how can I have faith that God saved me through the sacrificial of his son, and yet not have the same measure of faith to believe that God will watch over me in my times of trouble. Well ya see Monday when I was gettin all bumbed out about the whole prospect of not being able to go to school this semester, I just laid it in God's hands and realized that he knows what he is doing. And well here I am just a couple papers away from being enrolled at Lyell Bible College.

  Second Im finding myself easier to talk with females. Like at church for example. Back when I used to live in MO, introducing myself to ladies and talking with them was something very hard to do. Yet as soon as I got down here, Im down here a week and Ive already got a friend (well shes my ex-girlfriend anyways.) And at church its easy for me to talk with the s. And last night my cousin Amanda was out with her friends Rainee and Elizabeth. They stopped by like at 9:15 or so, and I just mingled and talked with them like I knew them all of my life. And Rainee and I have to say was the perfect picture of a punk princess. She's like 5'6, short blackish hair with red hi-lights, wearing a black skirt, red and black shirt, with some Chuck Taylor's. Awesome I have to say, well besides the fact that she's a Christian and cute.

  Third, my taste in music seems to be turing also. When I was dating Opal I was about to start listening to Secular so as to make her happy I guess. Just start listening to Good Charlotte, MxPx, Blink 182, stuff like that. Well when she broke up with me I told myself, "Never again will I date a that would lead me to start listening to secular music." But in that short time that I was listening to that stuff with Opal, my musical stylings in Christian music have changed around. Like before I moved any time I would hear the lead singer scream I would turn the cd off. I couldnt stand it at all. But now I absolutely love the pure emotion and adrenaline that seems to be flowing through the music when I hear screaming. As in such bands as Emery, Underoath, Hunter, Poetic, ya know screaming but still uplifting the name of Christ. And what do you know Im joining a screamo band. Ya know mixing emo with screaming.

  Fourth my eating habits. Im still not drinking any pop or eating anything thats high in calories or sodium. But anyways, last wednesday at the festival I had some guys from Fayetteville praying over me and they were just praying random things such as if there were any addictions over me that they would be broken. Well what do you know ever since that prayer my love for chocolate or I guess you could say addiction to chocolate has left and I seriously dont want the stuff any more. To fill tha void Im eating tons of peanut butter sandwhiches and drinking boat loads of milk.

  Fifth and maybe last how I present myself in my clothing and hair. At first when I came down here I was almost back to dressing like a prep. I know, bleh.... But then again, lol, once I started dating Opal I dropped that whole state of mind and went back to my thrift store, punker kinda look. For all of you guys who might not know Opal dressed like a punk princess. So now if any body from MO saw me they wouldnt recognize me at first. My hair is gettin long and shaggy, I wear semi-tight pants, still wear shirts from thrift stores, but also skater shirts, still wearing my adidas soccer shoes.

  Looking back at it now, I have to laugh. In certain terms it seems that Opal kinda changed me and now Im not changing back.

  But one thing I am very sure of that hasnt changed is my faith, love, devotion, and overall passiont to follow after Christ. Im still daily persuing Christ with all that I am, and all that I ever want to give him. I know I am his vessel, and may he brake me every day and reform me into his utensil to better serve him. Let me guys tell yall a trick with Christ. Until you are truly broken with Christ, youre relationship with him wont pick up. Itll be more of a stalemate.

  Everyone have a great day, and remember to let God love you so he can love others through you.

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